The Onset of the Yosemite Traffic Jam Insanity Calamity (5/21/11)

We all knew the risks. We knew in the wide world we would be faced with dangers we had never even dreamed of in our days at home in North Carolina. Some of you, in your superior experience, warned us of such things. But we left your remarks unheeded, choosing to continue our journey…and I never knew it could be so terrifying. I am speaking, of course, of the Yosemite Traffic Jam Insanity Calamity, a mental disease which sets in when 5 male specimens have experienced each other (and few others) for 8 days, have been tired out by a hike that was longer than expected, and have experienced a traffic jam leaving the parking lot in Yosemite Valley. The effects are compounded by at least 75 miles of driving on very windy roads with a driver (me) who may or may not have much sympathy for the unintended consequences of veritably flying around curves in the road. If the victims happen to be females, this syndrome might take on the simple, yet fearsome title of “The Giggles.” However, in males the ailment manifests itself with symptoms including, but not limited to: unnecessarily loud speech, extraneous laughter, terrible jokes (such as puns), slightly impulsive behavior (we didn’t really need 3 hot dogs each along with 3 boxes of macaroni and cheese…), and a tendency to annoy the other campers in the campground. As this disease has yet to be researched with any depth, I am still uncertain as to the permanence of this condition, though I hope for all our sakes that the duration is little more than the course of an evening. 

As others before me have informed you, in the past days since the last time I blogged we have had the privilege of exploring 4 different parks, all of which were awesome in their own unique ways. Now, when I use the word “awesome,” I am refer not to the overused adjective “awesome” which is used to say such things as, “This kumquat pudding is awesome!” No, when I say “awesome” I really mean it – there was some real awe involved. Standing at the bottom of a canyon looking up walls that are two or three thousand feet high inspires some awe. Standing at the bottom of the largest tree on earth – which happens to be more than 100 times my age – that brings some awe. As others have said already, there is no way for anyone to do these things and not first experience a feeling of smallness, and rightly so! I stood in a place and felt the hugeness of it, and yet was not that huge canyon part of a huge mountain range, which was but a section of a huge country, which was honestly a small area of a huger world and an infinitely more massive solar system…galaxy…universe! And I spend most of my time pretending I’m the center of it all?! The concept of self absorption suddenly seems laughable.

El Capitan in Yosemite Valley. It'll make anyone feel small.

Today’s journey into Yosemite did nothing but reinforce my feeling of smallness and hold me in awe yet again. I have been to this park before, but it has been several years since my last visit and I think I can better appreciate and enjoy this amazing place than I did before. Our journey to Yosemite began with packing up our snowy marsh of a campsite and descending several thousand feet back to the floor of California’s central valley. We stopped off for a quick grocery search in Fresno in order to add to our still very significant traveling pantry. Not that most of the food lasted long – of the four loaves of French bread that we bought, three and a half we gone by the end of the afternoon. Anyway, after Fresno we headed north, found a rare gas station with gas less than $4 per gallon, and made our way to the entrance of Yosemite National Park…only to be stopped by a line of cars waiting to get in – our first encounter with the throngs of people who apparently like Yosemite enough to come on a Saturday in late May.

The famous "Tunnel View" of Yosemite Valley

From there we drove many more windy miles all the way to the heart of the park – Yosemite Valley. (Unfortunately, Glacier Point Road was still closed because of snow, depriving us of some magnificent views and hiking trails – but there was still plenty to see and do). Once on the valley floor, we were again faced with the crowds which flock to this popular park, taking up most of the parking spots and picnic areas. Fortunately, we were still able to squeeze into a picnic area called Cathedral Beach and eat lunch. From there, we embarked on what was meant to be a short and leisurely stroll down the valley floor to Bridalveil Falls. As it turned out, however, it was actually about 4 mile hike round trip, not including the mischief we got into along the way. This involved attempting to climb several boulders and a very slippery mound of snowpack at the bottom of the valley’s cliff walls (our “adventurous” detour for the day). The falls themselves were spectacular, as all of the waterfalls are fed this time of year by ample snowmelt. As the holder of the expensive camera at the time, I couldn’t even get close to the viewpoint at the bottom of the falls because of the heavy spray, and everyone else returned looking as if they’d weathered a particularly fierce summer downpour. 

After the hike we drove further west to go to the Valley Visitor Center, where we learned more about the park and got some help in planning our next two days here. We didn’t realize, though, how ill-advised the timing of this trip to the other side of the valley was until we attempted to leave the parking lot and had to wait about 45 minutes in order to do so. After light crowds in the other parks (including basically no one in Kings Canyon or Sequoia), this was like suddenly being back in civilized places. It was rather akin to trying to leave Carter-Finley Stadium after an NC State home football game. It made me realize that although I think most people in this country should appreciate our incredibly beautiful surroundings much more than they do, it’s really kind of nice – at least for us – that everyone does not. Because if they did, it would be impossible to preserve these areas and keep them in the condition they’re in, not to mention that it would be a real hassle for everyone trying to enjoy these parks. These parts of creation are beautiful, and I think everyone should experience and appreciate them, but maybe it’s a good thing that some people get much more out of doing other things.

After finally getting out of Yosemite Valley and driving once again on many miles of curving roads, we arrived at our campground, where we happened to have reserved the one campsite which is on the side of a hill, sloping down everywhere so that there was no good location for setting up a tent. This may have been the last straw which pushed everyone over into the Insanity Calamity, as giddy laughter soon began to reverberate off of the nearby trees. As crazy as it was, though, we made do, and are now settled fairly comfortably in. Tomorrow we will embark on our longest hike yet, visiting the Hetch Hetchy Reservoir and hiking to Rancheria Falls – a total of 13 miles. We’ll get to see a part of Yosemite that the crowds rarely think to visit, one which will again be different from anywhere we have yet experienced. It will be awesome – really awesome – I’m sure. Just pray the Insanity does not creep up again!

Feeling accurately miniscule,

Dan

God is not far from any one of us: for in Him we live, and move, and have our being. Acts 17:27-28

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. Psalm 139:7-10